What’s your secret drunk munchies food?
When I come home completely wasted after a night out my absolute guilty pleasure is to secretly prepare a slowly braised British pork belly with minted pea purée and smoked apple crackling which I then smash into the ground with my fists because I am a vegetarian.
Are you a good or a bad drunk?
If a good drunk is someone who doesn't rent a Nissan Micra and fill it with half a dozen hoes then I am not a good drunk.
Tell us your funniest story from a drunken night out…
There was this hilarious time when I got into the back of an Uber on my own after a glass or two of Chataeux-neuf-du-pape and gently stroked the driver's neck and thighs. It was so lol.
If you could be one historical figure who would you be and why?
I would be myself 10 minutes ago. Don't ask me what I was doing 10 minutes ago but it involves a pigeon and a bag of poisoned crisps.
Who would you most like to have a pint with from history and why?
Young Stalin. Because he was fit.
If you could go back in time to any moment in history when would it be and why?
To when young Stalin was taking a bath.