The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear ' the rules' From the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note these are all numbered '1 'ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday + GOOD WEATHER = Sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;