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Funny Computer stone age

Customer: I been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to Inquiries Department, can you help?'.

Operator:     'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. 
Customer:    'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator:     'Sir, they are our opening hours'. 
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Caller:           'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller:           'On page 1, section 5, of the User Guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator:      'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'. 
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Motoring Services 
Caller:         'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?' 
Operator:   'Doesn't the product name give you a clue?' 
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): 
'If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' 
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Directory Enquiries 
Caller:             'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'. 
Operator:       'I'm sorry, there's no listing.  Is the spelling correct?' 
Caller:              'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'. 
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 
Operator:     'Woven? Are you sure?' 
Caller:            'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'. 
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'. 
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Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer:            'OK'.
Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. 
Customer:            'No'.
Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer:            'No'.
Tech Support:      'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. 
Customer:            'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''. 
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Tech Support:     'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer:            'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?' 
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Caller:     'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'. 
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There's always one.  This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.  I think this staff member should have been promoted, not fired.  This is a true story from a computer Helpline which was transcribed from a recording, monitoring the customer care department.  Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former Customer Support employee.  (Now I know why they record these conversations!): 
 
Operator:    'Hello, computer assistance; may I help you?' 
Caller:          'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with pc.' 
Operator:    'What sort of trouble?' 
Caller:         'Well, I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away.' 
Operator:    'Went away?' 
Caller:         'They disappeared.' 
Operator:    'Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?' 
Caller:         'Nothing.' 
Operator:    'Nothing?' 
Caller:         'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' 
Operator:    'Are you still in the document or did you get out?' 
Caller:         'How do I tell?' 
Operator:    'Can you see the C-prompt on the screen?' 
Caller:         'What's a sea-prompt?' 
Operator:    'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' 
Caller:         'There isn't any cursor:  I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' 
Operator:    'Does your monitor have a power indicator?' 
Caller:         'What's a monitor?' 
Operator:    'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' 
Caller:         'I don't know.' 
Operator:    'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?' 
Caller:        'Yes, I think so.' 
Operator:   'Great.  Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 
Caller:        'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?' 
Caller:        'No.'
Operator:  'Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' 
Caller:       'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:  'Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' 
Caller:       'I can't reach.'
Operator:  'Uh huh.  Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:       'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' 
Caller:      'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller:      'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' 
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:      'I can't.'
Operator: 'No?  Why not?'
Caller:      'Because there's a power failure.' 
Operator: 'A power ... A power failure?  Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'

Caller:     'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' 

Operator:  'Good.  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller:        'Really? Is it that bad?' 
Operator:  'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:       'Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

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