Happy New Year! January starts in its usual way, with every store holder screaming their sales at us, great we now find out all the gifts we bought in December are now half price, WE ARE SKINT so stop with the constant bombardment.
Oh and this is only topped by Easter eggs appearing in the shops, so the diet planned for January is now on hold until the spring, at which point we all go into panic mode to get slim for the summer, only to be greeted by strawberries and cream. How can advertisers justify screening Easter egg adverts next to holiday adverts? The internal battle causes the most acute migraine, and why does the Easter egg always win? Because summer is so far away the diet can always start tomorrow.
We seem to spend the first week of January in a disorientated mode, wandering around not knowing where we should be or what we should be doing, constantly asking equally disoriented people what day of the week it is, never mind putting last years date on everything. The constant hunger pains do not help in the battle of the bulge, to be still craving mince pies seems a little crazy, but it’s your body’s way of saying these are lean months and you must keep fuelled against the elements, you never know where your next mince pie is coming from, at the end of January you will not be able to get one for love or money.
Going back to work armed with every item that contains more than 3 calories, hoping you can palm them off on your work colleagues, after all if you can put the weight on them this can only help in making you look a little slimmer, but they have had the same idea and all you end up doing is swapping your calories for someone else’s.
And then there is always that one in the office who can actually loose weight over Christmas, what is that all about? This person’s desk must be the first port of call for all the left over food, if they try and refuse they must be force fed the food until they too have to undo their button to sit down.