Twas the third week of Christmas my true love said to me, roast beef for roasting, boiling ham for boiling, crackers for pulling and Christmas cake with brandy ice-cream.
Most of the above you never see the rest of the year, come Christmas if you do not have these panic sets in, and it become a quest of the utmost importance to get them, why? The same can be said for tangerines and sprouts, the latter of which I have yet to find a person who actually likes them, so why is it we just have to have them at Christmas.
We fill our trolleys to the brim with items that the day after Boxing Day we will be filling up our wheelie bins with, that is of cause if we can fit it in, as we also have Ben Nevis wrapping paper mountain to go out.
We will fill our stomachs to the point of painful explosion, and come New Years day be pledging to loose weight and get fit, which lets face it we know in our hearts of hearts that will not happen, and come June we will be looking for support swimsuits, and fake tan to hide the cellulite.
But as the saying goes it’s Christmas, and if we cannot spoil ourselves at Christmas when can we, the fact that we now live in a society where we overindulge most of the year is immaterial.
We also have all the Christmas films to fall asleep in front of, I think that the TV companies are very considerate in the way they put them on at different times form the year before, this way we are more likely to see the bits we missed last year when we fell asleep, but I have still not managed to see any of the Harry Potter films from beginning to end, so if any of the producers are reading this how about putting one on in March? In March I may not be so carbed up that I am able to spend two hours in front of the TV without nodding off.
So with the tree up, presents wrapped, cupboards and fridge looking as if the doors may fall off with the internal pressure, the pressure that will soon be transferred from cupboards to our belts, I wish you a very merry and peaceful Christmas.